Recently I have noticed a lot of fear and hype about energy vampires, in books and posts on social media. I was feeling uncomfortable with the idea that energy vampires are evil moochers who victimize other people, so I went to the Akashic Records to get a deeper perspective. Here are some highlights of my conversation with them.
You Are Not a Victim
In the mythology of vampires, they are the undead, trapped in bodies that require them to prey on the blood of others in order to survive. The concept of energy vampires is an updated version of this old myth, in which they prey on your energy instead of drinking your blood. Thankfully, you are not at the mercy of a horde of energy vampires lurking around waiting to prey on you. You do not need to wear garlic around your neck to ward them off!
The concept of energy vampires exploits the fears of the vulnerable. To worry about energy vampires preying on you is to be in the role of a victim, which is disempowering. No one can take your power away from you, because only you have the ability to give your power or energy away. You have the choice to stop being a victim.
The idea that others can siphon off your energy only works if you allow it. Instead of trying to protect yourself from energy vampires sapping your vital energy, it is more useful to shift your awareness to the ways in which you give your own energy away.
You Can Create Stronger Boundaries
When you’re around someone that often causes you to feel drained or depleted, take a step back, breathe, and turn inward. Notice where you’re giving your energy away.
Ask yourself – What is the pay-off I’m getting for allowing others to drain me? Maybe it keeps the peace, or helps you feel safe, or makes you feel good about taking care of someone else. These are all understandable feelings. However, you can choose to shift your attention to focus on caring for yourself by strengthening your personal boundaries.
Even if you sometimes give away your energy you will be able to evolve and grow from this experience. You can learn to stop allowing others to drain your energy.
Curiousity is More Helpful than Blame
There is no need to blame the energy vampire or yourself for not having better boundaries in place. Instead, you can use the awareness of feeling drained by another to get curious and explore how and why you’re feeling susceptible to this person pulling on your energy.
When we take the blame out of the idea of energy vampires it turns out that we can all learn to have better boundaries.
All of us have had friends or relations try to draw on our energy, and there have also been times when we ourselves unconsciously pull on other people’s energy.
For example, you might notice a tendency in yourself to be overly dependent on a motherly person. This doesn’t make you a bad person, it just helps you become aware that you didn’t receive enough nurturance as a child. Now you have the opportunity to learn how to nurture your self instead of relying on someone else.
You Are the Boss of Your Energy
Did you know that you are in charge of your own energy? Imagine sitting on a regal throne and wearing a crown upon your head, the sole ruler of the personal kingdom of your energy field, which includes your aura and chakras. As the Queen or King of your electromagnetic field, you are the only authority who can make the decision to allow another to drain your energy.
This does not mean you can just snap your royal fingers and shore up your boundaries in an instant. If you are used to unconsciously allowing others to invade your energy field, it may take some time and practice to reclaim your own sovereignty and strengthen your energetic boundaries.
When you feel an energy tug from someone, you can stay neutral and notice: Oh that’s sad, that person feels the need to draw from someone else’s energy. However, I’m choosing to say NO to this energy drain.
It’s not your job to care for someone else by allowing them to draw from your energy field. Your only responsibility is to be the boss of your own energy.
Compassion Includes Good Boundaries
When you notice an energy drain, this is an opportunity to call forth compassion for yourself and another. Compassion is loving, detached witnessing without being overly empathetic or feeling sorry for the person who is drawing on your energy.
Most energy vampires are draining others unconsciously out of a feeling of lack within themselves. They deserve compassion, but that doesn’t mean giving into the pressure to allow your energy to be depleted.
Compassion includes good boundaries. You are not doing others any favors by allowing them to drain your energy. It just keeps them from the opportunity of connecting with their own hurt or feelings of lack that cause them to seek energy from others.
It is also important to have compassion for yourself. Compassion is really helpful for noticing energy draining behavior in yourself or others without falling into blame or pity.
Pay Attention to Boundary Teachers
I believe we need more neutral words for the idea of energy vampires. I have started thinking of them as boundary teachers instead. Renaming them as boundary teachers removes the taint of fear and blame, and allows space for growth and learning.
The role of a teacher is to educate and share information, so a person who trys to siphon your energy is educating you by alerting you to areas of vulnerability that you need to strengthen. You certainly don’t need to thank someone for draining your energy, but you can appreciate the opportunity to notice where you are allowing your boundaries to be invaded.
When you learn to strengthen your own boundaries, you also become a boundary teacher. You are educating the person trying to siphon your energy that you are no longer available for their energetic consumption.
Pay attention to the boundary teachers in your life. Move away from fear, and focus on caring for yourself by creating strong boundaries. Isn’t it a relief to know that energy vampires aren’t so scary after all? You can leave the garlic in the kitchen!
If you would like to learn specific energetic skills to help you develop good boundaries, I highly recommend the work of Jill Leigh of the Energy Healing Institute. You can check out her free introductory class here: The Present of Presence